In the novel, An Ordinary Man, Richard is complaining to his friend about how sex seems to have disappeared from his life. In response to his friend’s question about what’s going on, he says:
“Actually, pretty much nothing. I mean, I’m not keeping a calendar or anything but it feels like several months can go by without anything happening. Anything at all. I got her a fancy nightie for Valentine’s Day last week and it’s still in its box. Like I said, it’s like she woke up one morning and said, ‘whew, we’re finally finished,’ as if we had better things to do.” Richard paused to shake his head. “She seems to have come to the conclusion that I have lost interest in sex. But where ever would she get that idea? Otherwise, why wouldn’t she take fifteen minutes out of her day to do something that makes me very happy? I mean, if I could do something for her that I knew would make her that happy, of course I would. Wouldn’t matter what it was. Why not? Wouldn’t you for Sarah?” He felt himself getting a little angry as he spoke.
Well, here’s a news story from the New York Daily News about a guy who actually did keep a calendar, and sent it to his wife before she left on a business trip. She apparently posted it to Reddit, asking for advice. That’s an easy one, unless it’s already too late. Guys who keep notes like this are doing one of three things: 1) hoping to make the problem concrete to a wife who is not hearing them, 2) justifying a divorce, or 3) justifying an affair. Remember, if he’s not getting it from you, he’s thinking about other sources.