Chris Messina, the inventor of the Twitter hashtag, writes that he is a believer in “non-monogamy” because, in part, the failure rate of marriage (50%) is so high, indicating that monogamy apparently does not work. I disagree; monogamy is sensational if, but only if, both parties are kept contented within it. There is nothing quite like remaining happy with the same person for decades. Since he mentions being data-driven, I’m sure he appreciates that we will have to wait and see if non-monogamous relationships work out any better than monogamous ones before drawing any conclusions, but I’m betting that open marriages won’t last any longer than, what, closed (?) marriages.
I know I would not be able to bear seeing my wife trot off to bed someone else for fear that someone else is better than me: sexier, better looking, wealthier, etc. Sure, maybe once or twice might be sort of hot, but as a lifestyle? No way. And that’s true even though I think I could have a meaningless affair. Sorry, Chris, but when the numbers do come in, I’m virtually certain you will be proven wrong, and probably will not still be with whomever you are non-monogamous with now, if only because of the non-monogamy….
Infidelity is ruthlessly explored in the novel, An Ordinary Man, as are virtually all other aspects of the guy’s view of marital sex.