I feel bad when anyone feels diminished under any circumstances and I’m sorry Ariana Grande felt “objectified” the other day by a fan who congratulated her boyfriend for “hitting that” [meaning, I believe, having sex with her]. But it may not be what Ms. Grande takes it to be. Consider a random shot of her in concert stolen from the internet:
bare shoulders? check
bare midriff? check
ultra-short skirt? check
thigh-high boots? check
high heels? check
provocative pose? double check
In other words, an image carefully calculated to grab a young man by the testicles and not let go until he’s in the shower someplace. It doesn’t do that with me, incidentally; I’m 62 years old and not given to what would amount to pedophilia, but I do remember being young and completely gob-smacked when I realized that Lee Majors got to sleep with Farraah Fawcett-Majors:
Being in awe of the man who holds such a privilege as that is not always about simple ejaculatory pleasure. It can also encompass envy at being the one who is with the woman with all that that implies; being able to enjoy her aesthetic beauty, her laugh & smiles, her conversation, having coffee with her, looking into her eyes, drying her back after her shower, watching her dress, holding her hand, sharing all the joys and sorrows of life with her, etc, etc, etc. But that is quite a mouthful and language is a lost art these days, so maybe the fan was being crude, but maybe not.
Just today I had reason to chastise a man who failed to appreciate being the partner of a special woman and while that of course included his implied sexual prerogatives, it was by no means limited to that. So, you might not have been objectified, Ms. Grande, you might have simply have been deeply appreciated.