An Ordinary Man

Or, Men 101

Month: February, 2015

Free Information on Male Sexuality

My novel, An Ordinary Man, by me, an ordinary man, will be free on March 7, 2015. It is an absolute no-holds-barred view of male sexuality, especially with respect to long-term monogamy, from the standpoint of a man who is contemplating an affair. Chances are good that, objectively speaking, your guy is an ordinary man as well. Download this from Amazon and page through it for an inside look at what makes him tick. Tell your girl friends. Thank you!

A Word About Labiaplasty


A charming – and appropriate – reaction to ‘disaster’

The media has a fascination with “wardrobe malfunctions,” commonly referring to it as disastrous  when some incredibly beautiful woman lets some incredibly beautiful part of her incredibly beautiful body show, as if she should be embarrassed, humiliated, or ashamed. This is, of course, nonsense as well as demeaning to the person. That’s why Behati Prinsloo’s reaction to her recent “nip slip” was so engaging – ha! she seems to be saying, caught a little eyeful, did you?


After Half a Century?

The NY Daily News reported on a study out of “three universities in the southern U.S.” saying that couples whose marriages last longer than fifty years experience a sexual rebound. I’m sorry, but if I have to wait that long for my love life to pick up again after the honeymoon, I’m out of here. Here’s how Richard Wilson, the protagonist and ordinary man of the title of the novel, put it, one night after his frustrations ran particularly deep:

The flip side of forsaking all others is that you do not forsake me. I do not pursue other opportunities because you are my opportunity, not because I have lost interest in those opportunities. I give up the thrill of the chase and the excitement of new skin because you know my desires and have promised to accommodate them. If you don’t f**k me wherever and whenever I want, what exactly am I supposed to do? Liz was wrong; it was in fact a quid pro quo, a contract, and if you breach your end of it, why wouldn’t I breach mine? This may come as a shock, honey, but I am as much a slave to my libido as you are to it, even more so. It’s not a switch I can simply turn on and off. I get hungry and tired at inconvenient times, too, and there’s not much I can do about that, either. How many times do you get to say no, and why do you even want to say no in the first place?  You didn’t have to accept the ring.

He later backed off the “wherever and whenever” part, but trust me, a guy’s going to at least consider getting it someplace else if he’s not getting it at home. Unless, of course, he’s one of the one-in-a-million willing to wait 2/3’s his life … how lucky do you feel?

Cindy Crawford at Age Whatever

This one is too easy to pass up. Peggy Drexler, writing for CNN, had this to say about the celebrated – and apparently unauthorized – release of this photograph:


“So let’s call a spade a spade. We don’t like Crawford’s image because it’s ‘real.’ We like it because it’s a little startling and a little unattractive, and therefore makes us feel better about ourselves.” (emphasis added)

Pardon me, Ms. Dexler, but from the standpoint of an older guy, I would be thrilled if Ms. Crawford showed up at my door, dressed like this. “C’mon in, Ms. Crawford, where the light isn’t quite so harsh; what can I get you?” You see, it isn’t about looking sexy, it’s about being sexual, and I’m pretty sure she understands that.

So the wine would be poured, and the lights dimmed, and magic would follow … [sigh].

The Secret Ingedient to Love is …

I happened to watch Nymphomaniac (Vol. 1) last night, mostly because in the hub-bub over the release of 50 Shades, the media took the excuse to review sexy movies, like this one by Lars von Trier, and Stacy Martin looked very attractive. She plays the title character, a sexually predaceous young woman, who, among other things, starts a club commited to only having sex with any one guy once. She loses a member, or quits the club herself, when one of the members violates the rule and uses the word “relationship.” Countering her scorn, the disgraced member leans forward and whispers, “the secret ingedient to sex is love.”

Quite possibly, truer words have not been spoken, but on this, almost the eve of the lovers’ holiday, I would stand up and shout, “the secret to love is sex.”  Without one, the other doesn’t thrive. Not, at least, in most relationships. When was the last time you made his knees weak? Rhetorical question.

This Valentine’s Day …

… understand your man. Read An Ordinary Man. He’ll be glad you did.

Pass the Diacetyl and Save Your Marriage

Life in the Boomer Lane

If you are a therapist, member of the clergy, marriage counselor, or author of a book about relationships, Life in the Boomer Lane has some mighty bad news for you. For the mere cost of a movie ticket (and, of course, popcorn), one’s marriage can be saved.

Contrary to what many might believe, this therapy does not involve purchasing a ticket for one’s spouse (hopefully, the discounted senior ticket), seating them in a theater of their choosing (with ample popcorn), and hoping they stay there forever. It does, however, involve watching and discussing five romantically-themed movies with ones spouse.

Psychology Today reports that a three-year long study out of Rochester University found that a movie-based intervention worked as well as a therapeutic intervention in preventing divorce, cutting the divorce rate in half, as compared to a control group. Movies, it seems, can teach us how to succeed at marriage. It…

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