The top complaint about a marriage is not having sex ….

by An Ordinary Man (the novel)

“On Google, the top complaint about a marriage is not having sex. Searches for ‘sexless marriage’ are three and a half times more common than ‘unhappy marriage’ and eight times more common than ‘loveless marriage.’ There are 16 times more complaints about a spouse not wanting sex than about a married partner not being willing to talk. Even couples not yet married complain somewhat frequently about lack of sex. Google searches for ‘sexless relationship’ are second only to searches for ‘abusive relationship.’ (Abusive relationships are obviously a very important topic that I will return to in the future.)”

This isn’t news to Dr. Richard Wilson, an ordinary man trapped in such a marriage in the novel of the same name, who in talking to his best friend, bemoans his lack of action thusly:

    “Actually, pretty much nothing. I mean, I’m not keeping a calendar or anything but it feels like several months can go by without anything happening. Anything at all. I got her a fancy nightie for Valentine’s Day last week and it’s still in its box. Like I said, it’s like she woke up one morning and said, ‘whew, we’re finally finished,’ as if we had better things to do.” Richard paused to shake his head. “She seems to have come to the conclusion that I have lost interest in sex. But where ever would she get that idea? Otherwise, why wouldn’t she take fifteen minutes out of her day to do something that makes me very happy? I mean, if I could do something for her that I knew would make her that happy, of course I would. Wouldn’t matter what it was. Why not? Wouldn’t you for Sarah?” He felt himself getting a little angry as he spoke.

While Seth found that at least as many women complained about not having sex as men, I hear many more men complain than women. It is, guaranteed, fatal to a marriage.  Read the book to see why this is the case.

Advertisements