An Extraordinary Woman
by An Ordinary Man (the novel)
I’m not up on either my super models or my sports heroes so I cannot assess the validity of Kate Upton’s complaint re her man not getting the Cy Young pitching award but I do salute her tweet for its recognition of a central, critical fact: she is the only one who gets to fuck her fiance.
And I hope she continues to recognize and appreciate that fact long after they get married because that is one of the key things that makes a woman a wife, partner, soulmate, lover, or whatever she wants to be with respect to a man she has thrown in with.
Richard Wilson, the frustrated husband in An Ordinary Man, thought of it thusly:
That you are permitted, even expected, to sleep with your wife is part of what makes her your wife. She is your fuck. That’s what men mean when they say they ran into your wife the other day, or saw her someplace: I saw the woman you have sex with. It’s not a judgment call, a critique or evaluation per se – it’s an acknowledgment of a central tenet of your relationship. A critical one; it’s common enough to run into, and even befriend, women who are younger, prettier, shapelier, smarter, more attractive than the woman you married on any of several levels. But you don’t fuck them. At the end of the day, there is only one woman there who is specifically intended, designated even, to receive your bodily fluids and you hers. He used to see her in the distance and think, yes, there she is, that one-in-one-hundred-million who you could take home and possess as if you owned her because in a way, you did, just as she owned you in exactly the same sense. The ultimate partnership.
You rock, Kate Upton.