The NY Post ran an article today entitled Is Porn Killing Your Sex Life? that focused on the usual suspects; that men who consumed substantial quantities of porn – easily available on the internet – would come to depend upon the wide variety of women and sexual activities depicted in order to get aroused and were no longer turned on by their own wives and girlfriends. This may well be true but there is a more immediate problem; the refractory period.
Suppose the guy has gotten worked up somehow during the day and is looking forward to a sexual encounter with his mate that evening but that in the course of getting ready for bed, she fails to telegraph her availability. Faced with lying next to a potentially inert sexual partner, or delaying bed time 15 minutes so he can cruise Pornhub, he may choose the later. Then, when he comes to bed, he finds she is in fact in the mood, but he’s got nothing left.
She feels spurned and even embarrassed, he feels cheated out of the real thing, and the marriage takes a hit. I’m not saying women need to be at their guy’s sexual beck & call 24/7, only that a guy doesn’t always put away an erection without acting upon it. And he may have already done so before you come around.