Isn’t a Freaky Relationship Sometimes Just a Freaky Relationship?

by An Ordinary Man (the novel)

I’ve read the first Fifty Shades of Grey, and except for the fact that it’s always fun to see the word clitoris in print, I didn’t find it particularly erotic. In fact, I think I remember a scene in an old Ken Follet book that had more impact on me, and it was only a paragraph if I remember correctly. Even Jaws had a line or two that rang my bell a bit louder. But just when I was wondering what all the fuss was about, I started to appreciate Anastasia’s prolonged debate about throwing in with a guy who got off by hurting her. Had I not by this time accidentally brushed elbows with two wildly different people – one male, one female – who admitted to liking a little pain with their pleasure, the debate would have rang false, but as it is, it was like the boredom associated with Ahab’s pursuit of the white whale in Moby Dick and I saw the literary value to the story. Just like a whaling voyage is interminably long, Anastasia’s decision was that hard to make. At the end, I was pleased that she appeared to decide that pain and pleasure, at least beyond a certain extent, were incompatible (I liken it to salting my ice cream, and in my world, there’d be no need for the second and third parts of the trilogy).

So I was a little suprised to come across a study purporting to link certain risky behaviors of young women with whether or not they’ve read Fifty Shades:

“Our study showed strong correlations between health risks in women’s lives—including violence victimization—and consumption of Fifty Shades, a fiction series that portrays violence against women.”

But what is the meaning of just a simple correlation? With its famously graphic sexual depictions, it seems fairly obvious that the women who read any part of the series are more likely to have been around the block a time or two more than those who did not. That makes me think that for many of those ladies, a little walk on the dark side was just that, a little walk on the dark side.

I guess it depends if a sudden Snap! makes you cringe or smile. Violence against women cannot be condoned, but consensual BDSM should not be confused with violence against women.

P.S. Get help if you cringed – he has no right, or need, to be that way and you do NOT deserve it.