Dave Barry on Boys (“Scum”)

by An Ordinary Man (the novel)

CNN’s Jill Martin Wrenn interviewed comedian Dave Barry on CNN.com about his book, “You Can Date Boys When You’re Forty: Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About.”

CNN: Have you modified your parenting style having a daughter versus a son?
Barry: Absolutely. Girls turn into women, and they do it really fast and dramatically and terrifyingly. Suddenly — boom! — they are women. And then, boys come around. I didn’t worry about sex or social life or anything like that. With Sophie, I’m really aware of boys, because I happen to be one, or I was one. I’m a male, and I know we’re scum. We’re all scum. We know it. When they show up, they’re nice to me, because I’m the dad. But they’re not fooling me. I know they’re scum, deep inside. I want them to go away. It would be nice if I could get a humane trap, a boy trap, that I would put on the lawn. It would be baited with something that boys like, like fireworks, something insane. When I hear it clang shut, I would go out and take the boy and release him humanely in the Everglades.

He, of course, is right; the sole purpose a teen-age boy is interested in a teen-age girl is in hooking up with her. For the ordinary man, sex remains a critical part of the relationship, deep into adulthood. Read about it here if you don’t understand this.

Read the entire interview (it’s worth it) here.

Get Barry’s book here.